Free as a Child

Innocent free naive as a child,
Passionate cared and mild.
Happiness delight captures its face,
Admirers kin surrounds as mace.
Born to this world to add beauty, it’s said,
Graze free and luxury fed
No one living is treated as such,
As a child in joy and cared as much.
Older the years make him,
Far away the admirers seem.
For none is a child for long,
To hear the lullaby and comfort song.

Life or is it? ##

Life in this world isn’t just a game,
It’s not fun nor too lame.
It’s about money and fame,
Where everyone isn’t the same

Changing time

Times are changing like never before,
Suffering pains and scars sore.

Affection and care cease to exist,
Dangers hatred traps misery and there goes the list.

Life for the poor miserable, lost,
Alone and none to host.

Injustice prejudice bigotry rule the earth,
Chauvinism narrow-mindedness captains to berth.

With none to assist aid serve,
When even a word could relieve.

Ideas of peace comes second thought,
Land money property to be fought.

To friends areas of qualm,
Unfairness insularity are laws to realm.

Religion root to evil and hatred,
Guns and ammo substitute for bread.

Rulers with laws they make,
Use for their own good and sake

Pitiful

Heaven looked at me and cried; moreover it was the only one that would cry for me. Earth laughed at me, moon smiling pitifully, the clouds giving a sarcastic smile, the trees ignored me and the shrubs knocked me down. The rain soaked me in hatred. I can’t blame the earth or the rain for my state. I engineered my life myself. When each block was carefully kept in place, I resisted in ignorance and inexperience. I treated life as a sharpened sword, which could be used hastily and re-sharpened when required. But it was too late when I learned that a dog can bite his master, a sheep can disobey the shepherd, and a sword used in inexperience can kill oneself. Time wasn’t moving in the direction I ran, it was moving swiftly in the opposite. Others to me were like the leaves in a tree and me the fruit. But without the leaves will a tree give its fruit? I considered my self the pebble in the lake and others the rocks but will the pebble be smooth without the hard rocks? Will a person survive if his body is moving in the path others built while his mind is not? I failed to recognize them. But the others were me, it was my own self.
I misused the platform set for me; it became a resting place of my deeds and my own respect had been expelled from it. Where is my self-respect? I searched for it among the clouds, the trees, and the crowed cities of the modern world. But I didn’t find it. But it was with me all the time. I failed to recognize it. It was within me. It was me. The self-respect became my only source of survival in this complex world. But I didn’t use it, as I should. It was a commodity that I didn’t pay for. It became a commodity that I ignored. Where was the person who called me a friend? Now I am a stranger to him. Where was the person who promised me? Now I am an ugly ducking to him. Where was the person whom I called teacher? Now I am a failed student to him. Where was the person whom I shared my happiness? Now I am the tears in his eyes. Where was the person who cared for me? Now I became the unwanted. Everything was too complex for me. It wasn’t within my limits of knowledge. It was far from me. I should travel a long distance to reach my destination. It would be late when I reach there. My prime time of life would be over by then. I should have started early……………………………

Humiliation #1

It’s just humiliation, that’s what you feel. You are new here, the questions, the looks they give, and it’s just humiliating. Whatever they feel I don’t give a damn but the humiliation still remains. It’s like questioning one’s identity; it’s like doubting one’s intentions. It’s all bullshit.

But the time comes when you feel that all this is just an outline. Just an outline of the real story to be told. The reality. Whatever.

But the thought still remains. The regrets. The pain. The embarrassment. The disgrace.

What is that really happening? Is it true that everything is been controlled by the one above?

Then what’s our role? Or do we have one. There are a lot of contradictions if that discussion is put into the front. Better not to.

Still I guess that we are just playing our parts, full control in our own hands, the result depends on how you do it.

Whatever!!!!

It's all here... Professionalism.. What ever you call it.
I am new here.. I am yet to realize the hard cruelties of life. The spice of life. I still got miles to go... I still got dreams to fullfill. All up here...

Dunnno when i'll be able to fulfill all my dreams.. Someday it's all going to work out fine. Someday.. It all depends on the attitude that you keep.

If you think it'll go fine. It will. It's like the sayin "if you look happy, you'll be happy". Is there a saying like that? nope.
I made it up LOL..

DUMB #3

Life is so boring now. It's all seems so stupid. What is that really matter? Females?porn?drinks? What is that keeps a man happy?.

Is it women? Is it intoxicants?

Overheard..... "A man needs something to enjoy always.. either it's women or it's food or it's the intoxicants ( alcohol, cigarattes or even drugs (keep away please))."

But does anyof these keep him happy? I don't think so. It's not these that really keeps him happy. These are just the secondary factors.

Women, thats always a turn on. That changes how a man think ( or does it destroys his ability to think?), how he acts( he cant now) , how he talks ( she does the talking) and whatever.

Intoxicants? That is something man in any generation or time to come will avoid doing. Thats the truth. It's just simply unavoidable. May be it's a part of his life. Every new year smokers talk about quiting.

Whatever!

Do I regret?

What is all the bullshit about?
The hype? Is it all worth the hype? The question is whether I made a mistake? Now there is no turning back. What you see from the outside is not what reality really is. This is like the saying ‘wolf in sheep clothing’ that’s what this is.
Maybe time will change things. Maybe I can make a change. The only thing I don’t want is to regret this choice I made. This is a turning point in my life.

My career.

I chose this, I don’t want to regret the same.

For everyone this is a peak time in their life. A change. But to me it’s still in the process of change or whatever you may call it. Now it’s the peak time for all the software engineers all around the globe. Its now or never.

A new place? That’s out of question for now at least.

Lay all the problems aside, to them I just got one thing to say “ bring it on!!!!!!”

Desperation

It's not like he's desperate for attention. He's not desperate for anything. The times are changing. The priorities for him are his job and his family. Everything else is secondary. Is he following the right path. Will this take him to his dreams?. Will this decide his destiny. He followed his heart. He went where it took him. He didn't allow his mind to control his intentions. As always he left the decisions to the almighty. It's not that he is afraid to make decisions. It's just that he is not into taking risks at this point of life.

This may be the reason he is hiding the fact that he really needs attention. Everyone in this world is desperate for attention. The kid is desperate for his parent’s attention. The old is in need of the helpers or their children’s attention. All are in need of attention.

The dreams all are pending, the desperate attempts to fulfill them is not getting him anywhere. It takes time, say his friends. It sure does. But when? It’s of no use when he is old and dependent. He says sarcastically ‘ maybe it will all be fulfilled when I am six foot under’.

The thing is not about the dreams or the fulfillment of the same. It’s how you feel when you are in the bed with seconds counting and awaiting your last breath. Then you might think about the days passed, the countless times you cursed, offended or hurt someone. Think how good it might feel if everything you have done is good. You have not done anything unethical, and followed your instincts and heart every where you went, then your dreams are fulfilled.

Okay

So that's how it all works out..
Nothin you can control nothing that you can ever put your hands on!

What is life if it doesn't have the thrills and the roller coast rides.

It wouldn't seem so much fun then. So its all in the hands of the almighty.

I enjoy the life here.. My work. My friends everything...

Thats all I ever want.