Pitiful

Heaven looked at me and cried; moreover it was the only one that would cry for me. Earth laughed at me, moon smiling pitifully, the clouds giving a sarcastic smile, the trees ignored me and the shrubs knocked me down. The rain soaked me in hatred. I can’t blame the earth or the rain for my state. I engineered my life myself. When each block was carefully kept in place, I resisted in ignorance and inexperience. I treated life as a sharpened sword, which could be used hastily and re-sharpened when required. But it was too late when I learned that a dog can bite his master, a sheep can disobey the shepherd, and a sword used in inexperience can kill oneself. Time wasn’t moving in the direction I ran, it was moving swiftly in the opposite. Others to me were like the leaves in a tree and me the fruit. But without the leaves will a tree give its fruit? I considered my self the pebble in the lake and others the rocks but will the pebble be smooth without the hard rocks? Will a person survive if his body is moving in the path others built while his mind is not? I failed to recognize them. But the others were me, it was my own self.
I misused the platform set for me; it became a resting place of my deeds and my own respect had been expelled from it. Where is my self-respect? I searched for it among the clouds, the trees, and the crowed cities of the modern world. But I didn’t find it. But it was with me all the time. I failed to recognize it. It was within me. It was me. The self-respect became my only source of survival in this complex world. But I didn’t use it, as I should. It was a commodity that I didn’t pay for. It became a commodity that I ignored. Where was the person who called me a friend? Now I am a stranger to him. Where was the person who promised me? Now I am an ugly ducking to him. Where was the person whom I called teacher? Now I am a failed student to him. Where was the person whom I shared my happiness? Now I am the tears in his eyes. Where was the person who cared for me? Now I became the unwanted. Everything was too complex for me. It wasn’t within my limits of knowledge. It was far from me. I should travel a long distance to reach my destination. It would be late when I reach there. My prime time of life would be over by then. I should have started early……………………………